“You’ll hate the way you look, I guarantee it.” That’s the way I should have started this makeover show. These were young club kids who got to express themselves in their own creative & fun ways, and to be honest, I thought some of them did look better “before.” See what you think. http://www.jennyjones.com/bt_video_highlights.shtml

And oh, hey… Denis and I went to Vegas after all and the roads were clear. We only went to take care of my stepmom’s affairs and only stayed overnight. It was a long, hard day and we were mentally exhausted.  Just before we headed back, I said, “Com’on, let’s play a dollar in the slots! We can’t come to Vegas and not play anything!” So before we checked out, we stopped at a poker machine and got out our dollar. There were about six different games to choose (I think) and we were so brain-dead, we both just stared at the screen and couldn’t figure out how to play any of them. Defeated, we sauntered away with our dollar.

What happened to real slot machines, anyway? I want to pull the arm. I want to put in real money. Clang, clang, clang! Alas, like many other things from the past, they’ve  been improved and replaced. They’ll wind up in a museum one day along with pay phones, typewriters, and a picture of me on Star Search.

This isn’t suposed to happen here! We pay good money to live in southern California and there is NO SNOW ALLOWED! If this happens again, I just won’t pay my taxes! First it rained for about two weeks and now this. I don’t have snow boots. I don’t think they sell snow boots here. Denis and I were planning to drive to Las Vegas tomorrow and highway 15 is closed. No one here knows how to drive in the snow and cars were sliding every which way, so they closed the road. I guess Vegas will have to wait.

On second thought, I think I will pay my taxes. Our jails are overcrowded and Wesley Snipes already has the corner room.

I didn’t have the stones to go shopping on Boxing Day (the 26th) but I went out last night.  We actually have a mall with a Target and a Neiman Marcus. In the same mall! You can buy one blouse at Neiman’s for 60% off or buy five at Target for full price…and have enough left over for slippers, a set of bowls, two books, a lip pencil, and some toilet paper.

Our critter guy set 74 gopher traps on the back hill. What if the hill is all Swiss-cheesy inside and full of tunnels? When it rains tomorrow, those little rodents will have their own underground water park with a half-pipe and a wave pool.

I’m trying to learn Spanish so Denis got me a learning system on CD.  Es muy bueno y me gusto mucho. Quero hablar espanol porque mi amiga, Antonia, habla espanol con migo todos dias.

That was lame, wasn’t it?

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Most people probably don’t know that before my talk show and before doing standup comedy, I was a musician & songwriter. I sang and played drums in a rock band and was also a backup singer for Wayne Newton in Las Vegas (I even wrote the theme music for the Jenny Jones Show!). So you can imagine how excited I was to sing again and especially to sing with the fabulous Brent Jones and the TP Mobb. It was back in December 2000.

I was so nervous that if it hadn’t been my own show, I would have probably cancelled.  I’m glad I didn’t because now, I can share it with you. Click here for “Silent Night.”

🙁

I just found the video of our Christmas show from back in 2000 and it was all about children’s talent.  Here’s a clip of an adorable 5-year-old named Madison Arnold singing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” You’ve gotta see this. She is so cute!

By now, she’s probably a 15-year-old teenager and I would love to hear from her.  Madison, where are you?

If anyone knows her, please get in touch.  Meantime, enjoy this oh-so-cute performance.  Just click here.

There were 271 ornaments on my tree and the person who came the closest was Heather, who guessed 280. (Daniel was as close 2nd with 286)

Congratulations, Heather! You just won a $100 Visa gift card.  Your extra Christmas money is on the way!

*Dec. 19th update:

Heather was nice enough to send us a photo with her pups – how cute are they?  Thanks, Heather!

And my thanks to everyone for playing.  

I love having contests and giving away money… let’s do it again.

Click here to subscribe to my blog

I love baking!  These are the first things I make at Christmas time and… they are the first to disappear!  Mine is a healthier version of sugar cookies and if you try them, I promise that everyone will be asking for the recipe.

You don’t have to use pounds of butter to make a delicious sugar cookie – I use part canola oil but nobody has to know. I had planned to make a video but this recipe is so easy, and besides, I would have had to do the hair & makeup thing and who’s got time?  I’m too busy looking for parking at the mall! Click here for my recipe page.

Oh, and one more day for the Christmas Tree contest (below). Someone is already within ten of the correct number! See who it is on Friday.

I finally finished decorating my tree this weekend.

Guess how many ornaments are on it, or come close, and I’ll send you a $100 Visa gift card.

Here are a couple of clues:  The tree is 8 feet tall and measures 5 feet across the bottom.  It’s against a wall so I only decorated three sides, leaving the back of the tree empty. 

It’s one guess per person, and whether you’re over or under, whoever comes the closest… wins.  The contest ends Friday.

It’s on!