I thought he was gone forever because I did not see him for the last two days. But I just went out again to place some bird food and I saw that beautiful tail going under some bushes, and then he came right out into the open as if to say, “Did you miss me?” Yes, I did.  I was sad and almost gave up hope, fearing the worst, looking for remnant feathers. But Baron Von Jonesenheimer is back!

I went out for lunch yesterday with two formers staffers from my talk show, Karen and Frances, whom I had not seen for eight years. We went to the Cheesecake Factory in Beverly Hills and sat outside but there was only one problem.  It was too hot! (don’t hate ;)) We caught up on old times and new things and I found out how many of my old staff are now working for Oprah. Hmmm….

He came back!

This time, he was in the back yard and stayed for several hours.

A small crowd gathered between all of us, the pool guy, gardeners – we all stopped working to watch.

We gave him some bird food and he ate ALL of it.

He drank some rainwater off the patio, then sauntered away, up the hill.  I’ll be ready with snacks tomorrow.

A friend just sent an “in-flight” photo she found online.

I’m looking for name suggestions…

Something exotic…

*He is a male.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I walked out on my driveway today, getting ready to run some errands, and I noticed some movement in the bushes off to the side. I thought it might have been someone’s dog because it sounded pretty big and then I saw it. It was a stunning bird with beautiful colors just walking through the plants, under some trees. I ran inside to get my camera, hoping he’d still be there when I got back. I grabbed Denis, our assistant Damon, and housekeeper, Antonia, and said, “You guys have to see this! What is it?” The bird was still there, in fact, he didn’t seem bothered by us, if maybe a bit curious. We decided it was probably a pheasant and wondered if it was somebody’s pet. I started taking pictures as he casually walked around for about ten minutes. After a while, he headed up towards the big hill behind our house, never even looking back to see if we had weapons, or a net (hasn’t he heard of “pheasant under glass?”). He had a chance to fly away but he never flapped his wings, just took his sweet time, sauntering along to the back hill, then up into the safety of some shrubbery.

We looked him up and it’s a ring-necked pheasant, not native to southern California.

We get used to the deer, coyotes, bobcats, raccoons, rattlesnakes, and skunks around here, but this was really a treat.

I hope he comes back.

This morning I spotted two deer on the back hill so I got my camera and went out to take a picture. They usually don’t run from me but this time, just as I raised my camera, they bolted up the hill faster than I’ve ever seen them move.  Oh well, no photo this time.

Seconds later, before I even lowered the camera, this coyote approached from the side, moving like he had a mission. This was the only photo I got before he was gone. I don’t know why he didn’t chase them up the hill  – maybe he was hunting for a lighter snack.  Can I interest you in some organic filet of gopher? Maybe some skunk tartare? Snake on a stick?

I went outside to pick some tomatoes for my salad today and it seemed there weren’t as many ripe ones there as I saw yesterday.  So I picked three and came back in. Then Denis went out and came back to say he knew why there were no tomatoes. “You might want to see this,” he said.  He showed me this ugly green 4-inch long monstrosity as it chewed leaf after leaf while we stood there in horror. I don’t know how he spotted it because it blends right in with all the green. But wait, it gets worse. “There’s another one,” he said. “And two more.”  There were four! Four homely-ass, worm-like, can’t-tell-the-front-from-the-back ugly-sticks. Where are the eyes?  Those things that look like eyes… aren’t.  Maybe it has no eyes, only teeth.  Those aren’t teeth, they’re like giant clamps – look at it!  Now it gets even worse because I came back with my camera and got close to get this shot and I accidently touched one. Eeeeeeeeww!!

*Oct. 15th addition:

I just found out it’s called a Tomato Hornworm and it eventually turns into a moth.

Here’s a photo.

How can something so cute smell so bad?

It was a lovely night last night so I had the windows open for fresh air – but not for long.  All of a sudden, we were hit by a wall of stink so strong I could have called in a HazMat team. My eyes started watering so I closed the windows right away but nothing changed. There was no place to escape the stench, inside or out. This had to be the fart to end all farts!

This morning a critter catcher came to investigate and tells me we have a skunk den on the back hill. He set up cages to trap and relocate them. Good. Let them fog up the night air somewhere else! But he didn’t say how far he takes them. What if it’s just two houses down and they walk back? Well, I guess I’ll know, won’t I?

We get a lot of deer on the back hill but not many bucks.

This one was (what else) eating his way across the back.

We think he’s last year’s baby.

“There’s something you need to see.”  That’s what the gardener said when he knocked on the door this morning. “There’s a very big rattlesnake in the back,” he said.  “Alive?” I asked.  “Not any more, but he’s still moving.”  They always kill my rattlesnakes first, then tell me about it.  But this one was big – about 2 1/2 to 3 feet long, and it was still alive!  I grabbed my camera, put on hard shoes and followed the gardener out.  Even though the snake was injured, it was still scary to be that close.  And I go walking back there all the time.  It was the same spot where the alligator lizard was and I know who would have won that fight. Maybe that’s why I never saw the lizard again.  He was lunch… hell no – more like an appetizer.