Vicki writes…
Dear Jenny,
My daughter is 14 years old and I know I’m not supposed to pry but I looked in her room and found a note she either wrote or got that ended with, “Let’s get high.” Well I’m no dummy and I know she must be smoking pot. But here’s what I’m confused about. If I confront her, she’ll know I was snooping. What’s even worse is that I did some drugs in my past (not any more!) so how can I tell her not to do it when I did? Please help.

My response…
Dear Vicki,
Whatever you did in your past, don’t let it keep you from being the best parent you can be. Your daughter doesn’t need to know you were snooping which, by the way I don’t see as a problem. Why not sit her down to have “the talk” about sex, drugs, and boys, etc. You don’t have to confront her or tell her you found the note, just make it part of a larger conversation. If she knows about your past, focus on the negative impact that drugs had on you. Tell her it’s a different world today with a lot more dangers than when you were a teenager. You know that’s true. It’s tougher than ever to be a parent and I know it’s not easy but you can do this. Find your own way to advise her about boys, sex, and drugs. It’s your job to give her the best direction you can and keep that little voice of yours in her head. And the next time she’s confronted with a risky situation, let’s hope your voice is the loudest one she hears.
Jenny