Anonymous writes…
Dear Jenny,
I am dating a great man however, his three teenaged children are rude, liars and just seriously are not worth trying with anymore. He has tried so hard with them but they do and say EVERYTHING their mother tells them. Our relationship is slowly ending because of them, something is always brewing and stirring amongst them. We were talking marriage and were very thankful to find each other again after all this time. How do I tell him it is over because of his children and his ex? I cannot take it anymore. I will miss him dearly and I need the correct words reminding him it is not him.
Thank you,
Anonymous

My response…
Dear Anonymous,
I have been exactly where you are. I was dating a great man with four children and I married him, too naive to know that his children would impact my life forever. Luckily, you are not married to him yet, and I can assure you that if you did marry, things would only get worse. But it seems you know that already. And my guess is he probably does too. I don’t see any reason to blame anyone as that would serve no purpose except to alienate his family. If you care about him, then don’t put him in the position of his kids being blamed for this relationship ending. My suggestion is to take the high road and tell him that this relationship is just too complicated and that you need to move on. But be firm and don’t give him the opportunity to say how things will get better, etc… They won’t. “I still care for you, but I don’t see a future together for us.” He’ll know why and you’ll be leaving with dignity and class. I wish you the best.
Jenny