Anna writes…
I’m 16 years old and I’m in an awkward situation.. Okay I am adopted by my aunt and uncle… To give you a little back ground information.. my mothers a bi-sexual and she is a police officer.. she works 24/7 and she didn’t have time to take care of me when I was younger… anyways every since I can remember, my birth mom and my adopted parents don’t get along. It seems like there is always a problem… If there not fighting over me its over something dumb… Jenny I cant take it.. Around my adopted parents I say that I hate my mother and that I don’t want to be around her but that’s not the truth. I love my mother with all me heart but I don’t want to hurt my Adopted parents feelings… Please help me…

Sincerely,
Anna

My response…
First of all, you sound more grown up than the adults. They should be having their disagreements someplace else and not in front of you. But you are lucky that you were adopted by family, so I am happy to know that. It’s tough growing up thinking your mom didn’t have time for you. My mother was an alcoholic and was never there for me either so I think I can relate. In spite of all the bad things she said to me, I still loved her so I also understand that too. You can love someone but not like what they have done. You should probably start by being honest. You don’t need to say you hate your bio-mom, in fact your parents probably know that you don’t. It sounds like she’s still in the picture so that makes her extended family. Tell your parents that just like you can love your cousins or aunts or uncles, you cal also love you bio-mom, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love them any less. As a bi-sexual working in mostly a man’s world, I imagine your mother has had lots to deal with. And not raising you herself has to be touigh for her to deal with. I wish you could all get into family counseling, but you could start, as I said, by being honest. It’s not always easy, but I have never in my life regretted being honest. In the end, just like me, this will make you strong.
Take care,
Jenny