“Overprotected” Writes…
Hi, Jenny. I’ve been dating this guy for over a year. He’s 21 and I’m 18. My parents don’t really let me out and when they do, I have to be home at 8. They’re very strict and don’t want anything to happen to me. I understand that I’m living under their roof and have to follow their rules, but shouldn’t I be able to just be a teenager and have fun with my friends and bf? I love him a lot and have been fighting to be with him but it’s really getting hard lately. He told me if I can’t see him more we’ll have to break up. He said we could still be friends but I still want to be his girlfriend. What can I do or say to my parents so that I can keep my relationship with my boyfriend and my parents strong.

Always,
“Overprotected”

My Response…
Dear Overprotected,

I agree that your parents are overprotective. At 18 years old, a lot of kids have left home to live on their own. I know I did. A curfew of 8 pm seems extreme but you must know they are doing this out of love. Unless your boyfriend is a bad guy, like a drug-user or is promiscuous, you may be able to negotiate with your parents. As a start, why not suggest double-dating with two other family members that they trust. Once they get used to that, try going to an evening movie with just your bf, tell your parents where it is, what time it’s over, and then come right home. If they can take it slowly like that, you might have some success. I also suggest having your guy over to spend time with your parents and let them know him. Maybe if they knew him better, they would loosen up a bit. It’s my opinion that by overprotecting you, they are not helping prepare you for the real world, where you will have to deal with things on your own. If you’re a student, maybe you could try living on campus. If not, and you have a job, maybe it’s time to move out.

Jenny
p.s. If your boyfriend truly cares for you, he will wait for you.