I need advice
I know I’ve said a lot of nice things about my man, Denis, but I’m not feeling it right now. It’s always been my responsibility to schedule our health checkups, like annual physicals, teeth cleaning, eye exams, etc., which I do and Denis has always gone as scheduled. But we are now at a standoff and I don’t know what to do. He refuses to go for an eye exam. He hasn’t had one in three years and the worst part is – he made a promise! He promised me last year he would go by Valentine’s Day of this year. And just like everything else, he left it until the last minute and had to go out of town and there was his excuse. Well he’s been back for a month and every time I ask, he says he’ll do it but guess what? He’s not doing it. Here’s everything I’ve tried:
1. I said I would make the appointment so he won’t have to – he said no.
2. I gave him articles saying why it’s important to get annual eye exams. No.
3. I asked him to do it for me for last Christmas – it was the only gift I wanted. No.
4. I asked him to do it for Valentine’s Day and he PROMISED he would. He didn’t.
5. I told him no more hugs until he goes. It didn’t work – I needed a hug yesterday.
6. I stopped making his favorite snack – deviled eggs. So what?
7. I have refused to make my barbeque ribs. No big deal.
8. I tried harassing him every day. Nothing changed.
9. I said, “I don’t care if you never go.” Neither did he.
10. I tried sulking but he thought it was for something else stupid he did.
Anyway, I need advice. He needs to get his eyes checked. How hard can it be? A teeth cleaning is more stressful than an eye test. And doesn’t he have to bend over for a physical? Hey….I almost forgot….he went willingly for his colonoscopy! Twice! And they can’t poke around his eyes???
Well, as a guy of about the same age; I suggest you have him drive You to your eye appointment and stay next to you through it and squeeze his hand. He will see it was no big deal as an observer, and then you have cleared the path of resistence that was in his mind to start with. All the better if he and the optician get along too. Excuse yourself to the ladies room, and just before leaving the room, mention that Denis is overdue for such an exam, but that you wanted him to see it. In effect you have demystified it for him, and he will either relent or not, but if there was some phobia or something blocking him this would have put him into what is the reality.
Best Regards,
Patrick
My thanks to everybody for all the advice. Hard as it is to let it go, I’ve decided to let it go…. FOR NOW. Maybe if he thinks it’s his idea, he will go. But I can only go so long without doing my job. Then I will start by just leaving some more literature on his desk/no nagging. If he hasn’t gone in six months, I’ll have to find a new tactic. I know… I’ll stop shaving! If the hair on my legs gets long enough, maybe it’ll poke him in the eye and he’ll have to go! 😉
Maybe that’s best for now 🙂
I know it bugs you that he don’t go, but maybe you’re right about him thinking it’s HIS idea. Being told to go just doesn’t work it seems. Hopeful a breather will help you think of a really good tactic. I like the hairy legs one…lol…funny!…
Oh and your welcome, Jenny 😉
I am with you on this one….you know I would also stop sharing yor reading glasses when he s trying to read a menu…afterall he doesn’t need them right?
I love all the new styles of glasses for men and women…I have more than one pair just to trade off for new look! Difference between men and women I guess!
BTW it is okay to go back to the Walgreens in your town, I am back home in Missouri! LOL I would have loved to seen you, but after being out there I realized what ‘star’ power is. We ran into Dennis Franz while eating lunch in Santa Barbara. We realized that stars are just people too and entertainment is their job not them. Very awakening for me. But if you are ever out my way you have a place to stay! We won’t talk about work! LOL
I tried to reach the girl that wanted chemo caps via her mom….no answer so far. I hope to send her some fun hats I just need an address. I made 30 more hats while on our vacation to the south west. We just got back yesterday!
Take care my cyber friend
K
Welcome back home! It sounds like you had fun and I hope not too much of our rain. We sent an email to Gwen asking if she wants your email address for contact about the chemo caps. Is it okay to send her your email (privately, of course) if she replies?
I contacted her through her daughters website! She contactd me via email. I can’t thank you enough for hooking us up! If she sends a picture wearing it I will post it for you!
K
We didn’t see any rain in CA, missed the sunami by one day, hit a snowstorm from CA to AZ….YIKES….now I am back in MO and we are having a snowstorm! Are you kidding me? I thought the ground hog didn’t see his shadow this year!!
Thanks again….always feel free to pass my email for chemo cap requests!
K
Aw Kathy, you are just the greatest for doing what you do for a stranger 🙂 😉
What! Jenny, you share your reading glasses with Denis? No wonder he doesn’t go. You almost baby him. What good does that do?…lol… 😆
Jenny, just wondering if anything helped you here with our input 🙂
You asked for advice and was just wondering…
Sorry, but my curiosity gets the best of me sometimes…lol…
Jenny and Denis,
Just one more thing before I say good nite, I want to share this story with you and you can publish it or you can keep it for yourselves. I flew to Florida a few years ago to visit my best friend Lisa and on my way there, I was seated in the first row behind first class where there was a wall in front of us. A blind woman was sitting next to me with her seeing eyedog beneath my feet. I couldn’t rest my feet on the ground because of the dog, but I didn’t care either!! She seemed so helpless to me. When they brought out our lunch, I ended up unwrapping her silverware and showing her with my hands on hers what food was what. It was then that I realized how much my own eyesight meant to me! I couldn’t imagine living the way this poor woman does and I remember tears coming to my eyes, because I couldn’t imagine being that helpless!! I just remember becoming very sad but grateful at the sametime?? Don’t take for granted what is yours, and what is yours should be yours to keep if we take care of ourselves!! Live, Laugh and Love!! xoxo Sue
Enough with the sex crap!! 🙂 I want to know “what is he afraid of?” We go for colonoscopys to prevent colon cancer… What is the problem? I have never had eye trouble, I don’t wear glasses or contacts, but lately, I have had some horrible headaches and I can’t read things as closely as I used to. I’m on a computer all day and I think it has alot to do with it, and; even tonite, I was at the mall after work getting a haircut and the eyestore was staring me in the face!! Just do it Denis, what the heck?? Your giving up JJ’s “fall off the bones bbq ribs??” You are crazy my brother!! I thought my only problem at my age was CSR (can’t remember shit!!) but I am making an appointment this week I swear!!! She’s only ragging on you, because she loves youuuuu!!!!!! Us women do that !!
Get her done!!!!
Sue
Now do you see what my eyesight did?? It’s not CSR it’s CRS Can’t remember shit!!
Sorry,
Sue
Wow. What language.
~Tiffie
Sorry Tiffie, it was all meant in fun though. I know Jenny got it or she wouldn’t have published it.
Wow.
Sue
I don’t want anyone to be offended on my site and we allowed this posting because it was done in fun and not anger. But Tiffie, I am happy to fix it if it makes you uncomfortable – no problem – it’s an easy and tiny fix. Just say the word and I’m sure everyone will understand. 🙂
yep, I would understand. I’m very sorry, but I’m glad that you took it in good humor. I certainly don’t want to offend anyone. Most sincerely, Sue
Let it go! He is on to you now. Men do things in their own way and own time! You are not his momma. If there is a problem he will go.
It is strange that he will do all the other things. Goes back to if it ain’t broke…
K
May I ask a question? …….. Why has he said he doesn’t want to go? Maybe that is the key to getting him to go?
His current reason is he doesn’t believe in using glasses (which he can’t read without!) because it weakens the eyes. That’s a load of crap. Besides vision, you have to check for glaucoma, cataracts, astigmatisms (which he has), pterygiums (which he’s had), and get the proper glasses to avoid eye strain. His argument does not fly. But my rolling pin wants to… upside his head!
Aw Jenny, I can tell this is really frustrating for you. You’re not gonna feel better until he does go. If he won’t go for himself I wish he could sympathize how this makes you feel and know the important’s of it and he has to know you know what’s best. He has to see that with you…
I know it’s not you with the issue of not going, but you do care about him and it’s really for his own good. I kinda sympathize how this makes you feel 🙁
Yes Jenny that is a load of crap. So does he wear his reading glasses then?? Well….how about all of us come over and drag him to the appointment??? haha Hopefully he reads all this and can see how much you care and how much it means to you.
I agree. I hope Denis reads this too, because it clearly shows how Jenny feels about him not going for the eye exam…
Okay Jenny, if he can go for everything else why not the eye exam? It’s not that big of a deal. Well it is when you get to the point of not being able to see. For him to break a promise it’s just not right. A promise is a promise and he should have stuck with it…
My advice is to let him know he did promise you that he would go for the eye exam and bring that to his attention until he sees that you are serious about him going. Tell him you will go with him if he wants you to, but you would really like for him to do this for you. I wish he would just go for the exam for you…
Keep at him about it Jenny and maybe he’ll go…
Tiffie and Becky, you both are a mess!…lol…
Becky, your way might work but Tiffie I’m not too sure about that. I agree that would be worse than what Becky said. Good way to piss somebody off…lol…
haha Becky. Or start and don’t finish lmao.
All guys are like that Jenny, my advice for you is to cry, because a guy will do anything to stop a girl from crying.
Xoxo
“Start and don’t finish” ? OH! OUCH! I think, that would be worse than what Becky suggested. It may just be the equivalent to a relationship a-bomb!
~Tiffie
Well, Jenny, there ARE a few other things you could withhold….hmmmm…?
Men are just damn stubborn sometimes!! (Not women, of course) 😉