It looks like whoever stole Charlie’s car also stole a Bentley and sent that down the canyon too. We heard helicopters hovering most of the day yesterday. It was a sad sight to see the fire fighters smashing the Bentley window to get inside (no driver). But it wasn’t as sad as seeing all the homes coming down today in the mud slides. Right now (2 p.m.), almost a dozen homes have been lost and hundreds of others are at risk with mandatory evacuations. I drove on Mulholland Drive earlier today and this is what we face driving in the hills. I feel lucky that I only have leaks in the house.

I woke up to the sound of helicopters overhead and with more rain coming today, I thought there might have been a mud slide, but that wasn’t it. They were there because Charlie Sheen’s car went over the side on Mulholland Drive and the news and paparazzi were flying overhead to get the story. Apparently, his car was stolen, Charlie was at home, but there was no one in the car. It went down a steep embankment, about 300 yards and I don’t know how anyone could have walked away from it. I need to be somewhere this morning and Mulholland Drive is closed.

Jes writes…
Dear Jenny,
I am a divorced single mom of two boys ages 10 & 11. I also have a live in boyfriend. We have been together for about 3 years. The divorce hit my kids hard and they spent many months away from their father, who they see now once or twice a week. Lately the boys have been giving me a hard time, when I ask them to do something, I have to ask a few times before they do it, and they are constantly arguing with each other just like boys do, typical for their age. This makes my boyfriend crazy (who was an only child, raised by his grandparents, and doesn’t know what it is like to have a brother or sister to argue with) and he gets so angry that he yells at my kids. This upsets me because his yelling scares them. He is very loud and talks very demeaning to them. He also watches my kids while I am at work and I end up getting phone calls all day long at work from them crying that he is yelling at them and punishing them. He has never hit them or anything like that. Now when they go visit their father, they tell him about the way my boyfriend acts and then he calls me and we end up fighting because I tell him that he has the right to send them to their room when they misbehave when I am not home. He feels that my new boyfriend has no right to do this and he tells my kids that the next time my boyfriend tells them to do something, to basically tell him to f* off… they don’t tell my boyfriend that, but I get so angry because he is teaching my children to disrespect adults.

My boyfriend’s actions get them so upset they cry to me and their father all the time about how much they hate my boyfriend and that they want to live with their dad and his new girlfriend. Whenever I am having a conversation with my kids, whether it’s about something that happened earlier in the day, or an argument that my children had with each other, my boyfriend butts in from the other room and yells things like, “From now on when you two argue, you both will be punished.” I get so frustrated because while I’m trying to resolve the problem with them, he doesn’t have the right to butt in and then he and I argue when I tell him to butt out !!! (I don’t tell him to butt out in front of the kids) He tells me that since he lives in the house, that he is affected by their behavior and has the right to say whatever he wants! I am so stressed, I don’t even know what to do!!! Besides this issue, my boyfriend is very good to me and makes me happy. What do you suggest? Help!!
Jes

My Response…
Jes, this boyfriend has got to go. There are different kinds of abuse – physical and emotional. This bully is verbally and emotionally abusive, not just to your kids, but to you too. You say he doesn’t hit them but the way this is going, that’s probably just a matter of time. These poor kids must be overwhelmed right now. To begin with, they’re going through adolescence and that alone is tough enough. You said the divorce hit them hard so they are dealing with the loss of their dad and upheaval of their family. And now they have this loud and abusive guy scaring them – how would you feel? They tell you he scares them and you leave them alone with him all day? Why are you putting your children through this trauma?

I agree with your ex-husband that this boyfriend has no right to discipline your boys, but I would not suggest that the boys confront the bully either. I agree that your ex should not be teaching the kids to disrespect adults, but your boyfriend has no respect for you either. He butts into you conversations because you allow him to. When he says “he is affected by their behavior and has the right to say whatever he wants” I totally disagree. He does not have that right. He is just a visitor, a boyfriend, and a lousy one at that. Jes, the situation you’ve created is not healthy for your boys. You need to take back your role as parent and get this guy away from the boys. He needs to get his own place and if you can’t live without him, then see him on your own time, at his place. Remember too that children learn by example. Do you want your boys to grow up to be mean and abusive? By allowing that to happen in your home, you are sending the message that it’s okay but I think you know it’s not. That’s why you wrote to me. You say “besides this issue, he is good to you and makes you happy. 1) He is not good to you – he is abusive. 2) “This issue” is the most important thing in your life (the well being of your children) and needs fixing. 3) You are not happy. If you need a man in your life, you could probably find a better one. Don’t abandon your kids for him. This guy will be gone soon enough but your sons will be your sons forever. They have to come first. They need you to step up now. Eliminate the problem. Eliminate the boyfriend.
Jenny

I watched the Grammies tonight – well I was cooking and watched while I was cooking. I don’t think I could ever sit through 3 1/2 hours of television. My favorite performance was Pink, not just that she was dangling and spinning with no net, but that she kept singing through it all. It was amazing! I baked egg bread and then made bread pudding with it… so good it was all I could do to leave some for tomorrow. Then I worked on my cookbook recipes. More rain is on the way but I’m ready this time, equipped with my new slicker, rubber boots, and sandbags. Oh, and I loved Lady Antebellum and the tribute to Les Paul. I remember when his music was on the radio in the 50s.

Tom writes…
Dear Jenny,
I am a graduate student who is studying to be a spec ed teacher and have come back home to take care of my mother and father. They are in their 80’s, and getting frail, but are mentally sharp and active. My question is this: would it matter to you if you were dating a guy who lives with and is taking care of his parents? I am the major caregiver as my sister and brother live in different states. Jenny, anyway thanks for listening. Thanks,

Tom

My Response…
Dear Tom,
I’ve always looked at how a guy treats his mother because if he treats her with respect, that’s the way he will treat other women. You are one of the good guys. You are what real women are looking for: a guy with character and loyalty who’s willing to make sacrifices for those he loves. Your parents are lucky to have you, but then they raised you this way. Not only is your living with your parents and taking care of them not a problem, it’s something to be admired. Any woman who feels otherwise doesn’t deserve you.
Jenny

What do we do with our sandbags? The fire department doesn’t want them back and they’re still wet – and heavy. I guess we’ll wheelbarrow them around to the hill in back where all the deer roam. When I say “we” I mean the gardener but he’s going to wait until they dry out a little. The good news is we never needed them after all because the rain didn’t get that close to the back door. The sun was out today and the hummingbirds are back… and the bees. I stood under our flowering pear tree today and could hear hundreds of bees inside. Here’s a picture of the tree.

We went to see Avatar in 3-D tonight. It was really good but in my opinion, a little more violent than it needed to be. The visuals are really stunning. You watch and wonder, “How did they do that?”

The sun is out! The endless rain finally stopped, although it did rain yesterday too. All seems to be well so far in Los Angeles. Last night four of us went to see Riverdance at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood and I loved it. We had dinner beforehand at Musso & Frank Grill. Everything is “a la carte” there – everything. $3.50 for salad dressing! This restaurant has been in Hollywood for almost 100 years, in fact Charlie Chaplin used to go there. Most of the waiters are old. I think I recognized one of them from the Last Supper. :o)

Rain Report 4 p.m.: It rained the hardest today, sideways part of the time. But by dinner time, the rain stopped and it seems like the worst is over. It’s still going to rain tonight, and tomorrow but not as heavy. Then the rain starts back up Monday… oh well. The city has had mud slides and rock slides and we’ll see if the saturated hills hold up. So far, the mud slides have not taken down any houses, probably thanks to all the sandbags and K-rails everyone put up to divert the flow. I miss my walks, so for exercise, I walked around the house, up and down the stairs. I can’t wait to see the sun again.

Second Rain Report 11 p.m.: Just after I posted the entry above, it started raining really hard again. By the time we had dinner, there was lightening and thunder, and a few minutes later – hail and very strong winds. Around that time, there was another tornado, this time in Ventura, that lifted trees and seriously damaged some homes. Then after dinner, we heard helicopters hovering above the house. I couldn’t believe they were flying in the strong winds, but it turns out a power pole came down on Mulholland Drive causing power outages close by. We’re not done yet.

Rain Report: We got pummeled again today. There was hail in Malibu, lightening at the beach, in fact 2 planes coming into Burbank were hit by lightening. The waves at the beaches were huge and dangerous. One person did try to surf but quit as fast as he started. There is mud rolling down the hills where most people have evacuated so I guess they’ll watch the news to see if their homes got hit. Several schools are closed tomorrow and more trees have come down. We have water coming into the house in 5 places. The ground is very saturated right now and the biggest storm of them all – #4 – is coming tomorrow.