My man, Denis, has been the love of my life for over 25 years but if the house caught on fire and I had to run back in to save just one thing, Denis would have to find his own way out. I would save my iPad! I love love my iPad! I take it everywhere I go – I even take it to bed to read or play games. I’ve been looking for a carrying case since I won’t ever leave it in the car but nothing came with a shoulder strap. So I decided to make one.

I went to Jo-Ann Fabrics last night and bought some reversible quilted material (cost: $4.66) and spent about 45 minutes to put it together. The wide strap is comfortable and now I can take my iPad everywhere I go and never have to leave it in the car. I left Denis in the car once but I was mad at him. Served him right. 😉

We drove back home yesterday after getting my stepmom moved. She’s now in a gated retirement community with good security so we have peace of mind. There wasn’t much time for fun or any shows but we can do that next time. We did have a great dinner buffet at the “M” which is a new hotel/casino as well as a really bad meal at the Mandalay Bay coffee shop –  don’t go there. The only gambling I did was the five minutes it took for me to lose at roulette and blackjack.

It’s so good to sleep in my own bed. Why are hotel beds so uncomfortable? Who knows what kind of abuse they take… Maybe there was a large man convention there last week and the Incredible Hulk and Andre the Giant were having pillow fights on that bed. Who can sleep anyway when you’re up all night looking for bed bugs? I have to stop watching those shows about horrible things in hotel rooms. This time I brought some disinfectant wipes and cleaned the doorknobs, phone, remote control (the worst!), and I found a hair in my bathtub! It was not mine. Next time I’d like to bring one of those UV lights and a pair of goggles to look for blood stains on the wall! I should just stay home!

Well, my gambling buddies, I wanted so much to surprise someone with a win but it was a bust. (: I told the dealer what I was doing and he suggested playing all the numbers at once for better odds.  I did and the number that came up was 33….. Boooo!

Since blackjack is my usual game, I tried that too – and I lost 20 bucks there too! Oh well, it was still fun and the next time I come here, I will try to win for somebody again. Thanks, guys, for playing along.  It looks like I have better luck with my baking.

We are off to Las Vegas for the week! My stepmom is moving and Denis and I are going to help with the move. I’m making her a surprise batch of my caramel corn as a housewarming gift – she loves that stuff. But we will make time for some fun… a little blackjack… a few sluts…. oops, I meant slots but we should see plenty of both.

I have a fun idea. If anyone has a lucky number, I will put a dollar on it for you in roulette. Can you play a dollar in roulette? Whatever the minimum bet, I will place it in your behalf. If your number wins, I will send you the winnings, assuming you trust me with your dollar. Oh wait — it’s not your dollar — but I will send you the winnings anyway. And keep my dollar. The winning odds on a single number are 35 to 1. (Denis will witness the bets)

This offer is good for the first 15 people who send me their lucky number. There are 36 numbers on the wheel. So I guess we’re having another contest of sorts. Should be fun. Good luck!!

Anybody who thought MY hair was big back in the day can start singing a different tune now.  Back in 1991, we did a show featuring twins – always looking for the ones you couldn’t tell apart. These stunning sisters, Sari and Staci, looked exactly alike and had us all mesmerized with their hair. They were great guests but as the host, my only regret was not asking how they did it… pin curls… rollers… curling irons… was it natural… how long did it take?

Sari & Staci, if you’re out there, I would love to hear from you.

Click here to watch the video.

Well, it  didn’t take me long to disappoint myself in 2012. We’re only five days in and I’ve broken most of my New Year’s Resolutions. Let’s review:

1) EAT LESS SWEETS, EVEN IF I BAKE THEM MYSELF. (I’m still eating my leftover Christmas cookies and refuse to stop until they’re gone)

2) WALK MORE DAYS PER WEEK THAN ONE. (I haven’t walked yet this week. I’m afraid if I leave the house someone will take my Christmas cookies)

3) SPEND LESS TIME AT THE COMPUTER. (Here I am)

4) ACCEPT THAT NO WOMAN OVER SIXTY SHOULD WEAR PIGTAILS. (or clothes from the drugstore either, but I do both, so what? —  other people should mind their own beeswax)

5) FINISH MY COOKBOOK BEFORE SUMMER. (I have to taste all the food, I won’t have time to walk, and I’ll be at my computer until summer… in my pigtails and drug store clothes!)

I hope I’m not the only one who couldn’t make it through the first week without crumbling like a six-month old pfeffernusse.

It’s the end of the year and time to clear out all the people we don’t need to hear about next year. How about a one-year haitus from those people who, like old clothes, need to be stashed away, and maybe some say, they won’t look as stupid as they do today, and we can bring them back. People who make you say, “If I see that face one more time, I’ll just stab myself in the eye with a pencil.”

Here’s my list:

Kim Kardashian,  Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, everybody’s “baby bump,” my neighbor across the street, and Rosie O’Donnell. (there, I said it!)

Who did I miss?

I baked a whole bunch of Christmas cookies and left them for Santa but they were all still here in the morning. Since he didn’t eat his cookies, what to do? It’s a dilemma.

Maybe I should  eat them…

…all…

…today.

I’d like to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and I hope all your Christmas wishes come true.

One of my wishes came true when I got to sing with a gospel group. It was eleven years ago when Brent Jones and the TP Mobb performed on my Christmas show and invited me to sing with them. I was so nervous I thought I might faint but I got through it… with lots of love from the audience.

Click here to listen to our version of “Silent Night.”

Happy Holidays!

One of my favorite moments of all time as host of the Jenny Jones Show was during a Christmas episode we taped in the mid 1990s featuring children’s talent. A seven-year-old girl named Arbeny Davis came on to recite a poem titled “What If I Am a Black Woman?” and when she was done, the entire room erupted in cheers and applause. No one expected this kind of performance from a seven-year old. Click here to watch the video.

p.s. Arbeny, send us a comment if you see this. Let us know what you’re doing today. You must be a grown woman by now!