By next week, there will be some great new stuff on the site. We are adding some new sections to the Fun Stuff page and today we taped another How-To video in the kitchen. Actually, we taped two but one didn’t go as planned. It was my “Easy Casserole” and before we started, I had to make one ahead to show the finished dish, but I left it in the oven too long and the edges burned. Maybe it’s not as “easy” as I thought. Or maybe it was because the gardeners showed up with the blower and we had to stop taping. Anyway, I’m casseroled out. But we had fun and Damon does a great job with the camera. Afterwards, Denis and I went out to eat. I did not order casserole.

“What’s up, Homie?” When I heard that, I knew there’d be trouble. When I was stopped for my seatbelt, I was also cited for not having proof of insurance so I went to the courthouse today to show proof that I had it all along. There were about 100 people in line and I noticed one guy close to the front who wasn’t there before. He was hard to miss, this middle Eastern man, with his red shirt, tight jeans, D&G belt buckle, a pack of Marlboros squashed in the front pocket and the shiniest pointiest shoes I’ve ever seen. He was watching a movie on his iPad and talking on his cell phone while standing directly under the “No Cell Phones” sign. There was some rumbling starting in the crowd and finally a young guy wearing a tight T-shirt with big muscles confronted him. “You cut in line,” he said and Red answered, “No, I didn’t.” “I saw you and you are not going to the window before me,” said the T-shirt/muscles guy. We all watched as they continued to argue and then an even bigger guy, with an even tighter T-shirt and even bigger muscles, got in T-shirt’s face. “What’s up, homie?” Oh oh. The crowd was silent and frozen still. “I said what’s up, homie? You got a problem?” When T-shirt tried to explain that Red cut in line, Bigger Muscles said, “Relax, man. Let it go.” “I won’t let it go, he cut in line.” Then chests got bigger, we got quieter, and BM said, “You want to take it outside?” “Yeah.” They started to move and I asked the guy in front of me, who weighed in at around 300, if I could take shelter behind him. I cowered in his girth as T-Shirt and his posse and BM and his homies headed outside. There was no security. The next thing I know, they are all talking and cooling down in the corner. We in line were so relieved no one died, we all started talking and laughing about it and it helped pass the time. Five minutes, later, Red shirt was back in line, cutting in front of about 60 people, but no one complained. After an hour and a half, I got to the window, cleared myself, paid a $25 fine, and as I started to leave, the clerk said, “You know, you could have done this in the mail.”

I had a marathon nosebleed last night that lasted over an hour, from 1:00 to 2:15 am. By the time it was over, there was blood everywhere – on the sheets, pillow, nightshirt, bathroom counter and floor. Usually, I can stop my nosebleeds with some pressure but every time I let go of the pressure, blood came pouring out like a faucet. I realize that I blow my nose a lot due to allergies and I guess I went too far. This was coming from the posterior and (stop reading here if you’re queazy already) going down my throat and coming out of both nostrils. That part was scary. When I started spitting up blood, Denis wanted to take me to the hospital but I refused to go and tried one more time to sit still (and forward) and squeeze my nose, this time for 20 minutes nonstop. The bleeding slowed down and finally stopped but I got very little sleep. In the morning, the bedroom looked like a crime scene, and so did my face. I’ll be more careful next time.

Another woman might have been excited about buying new shoes but not me.  I got a new mixer! Denis drove me all over town to find it.  We went to Williams Sonoma, Sur La Table, Bloomingdales, Macys, and Bed, Bath & Be Serious (that’s what Denis calls it), but no one had the pistachio green color I wanted. Then I suggested going to Beverly Center because it’s more of a fashion mall and may have more stuff in housewares at Macys.  They did and I got the green mixer that goes with my kitchen. And a $30 rebate!  But here’s the sad part.  I’m still using my old one because I don’t want to get the new one dirty.

If this one ever fails, my next one is going to be purple…

I found some gray hairs!

Right in the front!

I’m calling 9-1-1.

Remember when Robert Blake’s wife met her untimely demise behind Vitello’s Restaurant in Studio City and nobody knew whodunnit? Well, the restaurant is still going strong and has a lounge with live music. I had never been inside before but Denis found out that a group we had seen on PBS was performing last night and we went. They are an “a capella” group called M-Pact and they were amazing! It’s six guys with no instruments at all, just their voices, and you’d swear there was a live drummer and bass and a whole band playing with them. I’ve never seen anything like it in person. As a musician myself, I was mesmerized while they sang, wondering how they did it. The guy who did the drums with his voice even did a drum solo that seemed humanly impossible. Anyway, it was a great night and we parked right where the crime happened, on a side street around the corner. I wonder if they’ll ever find the shooter…

Denis and I went to see “In The Heights” at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood over the weekend. First we had dinner at Musso & Frank Grill, one of the oldest restaurants in Los Angeles (since 1919) – I think we had one of the original waiters!  I’m pretty sure I recognized him from the Last Supper. 🙂 But the food was good.  There’s really nothing like seeing a live show and this one was really good.  The highlight of the night?  I actually wore a dress.  There’s no photo of my in my dress but here’s a pretty picture from my garden.  And now a quick game of $10,000 Pyramid:

• ~ A daisy in bloom.  
• ~ Jenny in a dress.

        The category:  Things we won’t see again until next spring.

I bought a skirt at the drug store.  At the drug store! Is that wrong?  Was I just conned? They had a rack of summer skirts for $9.99  right at the entry door.  I noticed it when I walked in but thought, “What kind of people are buying clothes at the pharmacy? For God sakes, go to Target, or Ross, or Kohls if you’re broke but not Walgreens. Have we lost our sense of dignity?”  I stuck my nose in the air and passed by the display of colorful skirts.  But one caught my eye so I stopped, looked back and saw a black & white one that would go perfectly with a new top I just got. All of a sudden, I felt a little extra weight on my shoulders. “It can’t hurt to look,” said the left side. “This is a drug store!” said the right. “Where’s your pride? What if somebody sees you?”   I was paralyzed with indecision, but that skirt was so cute – they all were.  I started inching towards the rack, stopped, turned back, turned around again, hoping people would think I forgot my keys. When no one was around, I finally walked over & looked through the skirts – this one was so soft and summery but would it fit?  I looked for a mirror to get a full view but there was none.  And what kind of a drug store has no fitting room? I took my chances and bought it, hoping no one I knew would walk in at that moment, praying that it fit so I would never be in the position of returning clothes to Walgreens. When I got home I tried it on and it fit. I love my new skirt! Then I remembered another cute green one that I also liked and besides, I could always use more floss. I’m going back.

We’re having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave… well not exactly tropical but it’s 100 degrees.

• It’s hotter than two rats humping in a wool sock.
• It’s hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut.
• It’s hotter than the flames under Mel Gibson’s career.

The heat hasn’t hurt my little yellow grape tomatoes. We’re having awesome salads every day!

My popcorn hull seems to have moved on so my day was not a total floss.

-Dad gummit! I think it’s gone.

-I think I feel it again… What the hull?!?

-To tell the tooth, I’m not really sure.