Jul 10, 2011

Breaking News of my dreams

It’s too much food! Everything’s ready at once. This is what I picked just today: Grapefruits, oranges, lemons, apples, tomatoes, peac…. oh right, no peaches. They all got picked early and made into a pie. Now that they’re gone, the squirrel has moved on to my tomatoes. Every morning, I find the remnants of a ripe, red tomato on the ground. I’m thinking about putting a mouse trap in the tomato plant, baited with a nice red tomato. If it snapped in his face, that squirrel would catapult himself all the way to the 405 freeway. Then with a little luck, he would meet head on with a semi – a tragic accident. BREAKING NEWS: There was a splat-and-run on the 405 today but the CHP is unable to identify the victim. All that remained on scene was a piece of tomato and some fur.

Filed Under: Dear Diary
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Jul 08, 2011

How do you like your squirrel?

I  took all the peaches off my tree today.

I wanted to fire up the grill and make squirrel-beque.

I made peach pie instead.

It was the therapy I needed to let go.

Feeling better today.

I still hate the squirrel.

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Jul 07, 2011

Things are not peachy

I thought everyone might  like to see my peach tree. I’ve been pampering and fertilizing it and the peaches are just now getting ready to pick. These are white peaches, the ones that are super sweet and oh so juicy… at least that’s what I’m told. Take a closer look. You’ll see a rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, fruit-stealing squirrel. I’m so mad because now I have to pick them before they’re ripe because this rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, fruit-stealing squirrel takes them before they’re even ripe. I scared this squirrel so bad he dropped the peach and literally flew out of the tree. He bolted so fast he was airborne most of the way up the hill. “Get out and don’t come back!” I bought a plastic hawk and put it in the tree. This is no way to live.

Filed Under: Dear Diary, General
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Jul 05, 2011

Not Guilty?

Casey Anthony was found not guilty today of being responsible for the death of her child.

A shocking verdict, to say the least. It defies understanding.

Does this mean they will now try to find the real killer?

Filed Under: Dear Diary, General
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Jul 04, 2011

Happy Birthday, America!

Filed Under: General
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Jul 01, 2011

Homemade Barbeque Sauce

I’ll be doing what everybody else is doing this weekend – barbeque!

It’s going to be 100 degrees on Sunday so cooking indoors?… not a good idea.

I’m sharing my recipe for this 4th of July weekend and it’s really, really easy. Basically everything in one pot & cook it.

I usually make baby back ribs but my homemade sauce is great on chicken, too.  I cook my ribs for 2 1/2 to 3 hours and they fall off the bone.

Have a great 4th of July weekend, everybody. Enjoy my recipe, and some fireworks too.

The only fireworks we will see is after I cook all day and Denis says, “You know we could have gone out and got ribs.”

“What did you just say?!?”

He defends himself by saying he doesn’t want me to work too hard (at something I love!)… He just doesn’t know any better. But I still love him. Happy 4th! And Happy Canada Day!

click here for the recipe

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Jun 29, 2011

A tissue issue

This is my new pet peeve! I just opened a new box of Kleenex because I needed a tissue. I didn’t want three tissues –  just one single tissue. But could I pull up just one single tissue? No.  You can not open a new box of Kleenex and pull up one tissue with the first pull. Three sheets are forced on us, like it or not. Why? Apparently, the technology does not exist. But didn’t some guy walk on the moon? Can’t you store 40,000 songs on a small metal stick? We could probably clone a human being if we wanted to. So what’s up with Kleenex? I think if they folded them right, you could get one to pop up with the first pull. Seriously, it can’t be that hard.

Filed Under: General
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Jun 26, 2011

Week in Review

1. The state of New York finally voted to allow gay marriage. Finally! Equality for everyone! Now gay people can be just as miserable as the rest of us.

2. Basketball star Ron Artest want to change his name to Metta World Peace. What? Why? If anyone could use a name change right now, it’s Anthony Weiner.

3. The Casey Anthony trial has dominated all the networks since it started. I hope she testifies so they can add perjury to her charges. How will we know she’s lying? Her lips will be moving.

4. After a mix-up at a Tennessee hospital, a dead man is being exhumed to remove his dentures that belong to another man who shared the same room. Getting the hospital to pay for the cost will be like pulling teeth.

5. He calls himself the “King of Infomercials” but Don Lapre was arrested for fraud after he bilked over 200,000 victims for $50 million dollars. I expect the judge will sentence him in a way he’ll understand: “You could expect to serve 10 to 15 years… but wait… there’s more!”

Filed Under: Week In Review
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Jun 24, 2011

My Apple Pie Bars

With ninety-one organic apples on my tree, I had to come up with a very special recipe and here it is. It’s a lot less work than making traditional apple pie and the best part is… it’s healthier… made without shortening or butter, only heart-healthy canola oil. I love that!

It tastes just as good as a pie, in fact, Denis keeps calling it pie but I say a piece of pie is pointed and this is square – it is NOT pie! Whatever you call it, this is one of my best recipes.

And try to eat just one piece of p….. uh…. I mean one bar. 🙂

Click here for the recipe.

June 25th

I made apple pie bars again. I had to. My apples were calling me from the tree: “We’re ready! Over here! Eat us! Bake us into one of those pie bars! We need a purpose! We like being snuggled in that delicious crust. Please Jenny, take us before the squirrels come!!”

Filed Under: Cooking
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Jun 24, 2011

My hometown winner!

Congratulations to Mike Paradis from my hometown of London, Ontario!

Mike, you are getting a $100 Visa gift card for guessing 91 apples.

The day I took the photo, there were exactly 91 apples on my tree.

There are less today after I made my apple pie bars. (that recipe is coming soon!)

Thanks for playing, everybody. This was fun!! Oh Canada!!!

Here is a photo of our winner,  Mike, taken at a wedding this past weekend.  Mike is a 28-year-old client relations coordinator and here’s what he wrote…

“Really? I actually won the Jenny Jones apple tree contest – too fun, who’d thought that blowing the picture up and counting the apples would pay off!!

My friend Scott Mitchell, called me 2 days ago, and said new contest on JJ’s blog, you better play – and buy me something if you win” Jenny – can you send him one too? haha

I am 28 year old Client Relations Coordinator by day, while working P/T evenings and weekends at London’s own, The Windermere Manor.

Jenny, I miss your show, keep up with the wicked blogging & contests – you keep it fun!

Until next time, Mike.”

Filed Under: General
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